Since my twin girls were born, I’ve been part of a local parents of multiples club. The early playgroup we formed forged mom friendships that provided the support we craved to get through the difficult baby and toddler years. I still maintain many of these friendships and whenever I meet a fellow playgroup mom I haven’t seen in a while, it’s like a mini-mini reunion with a long-lost friend. We can’t wait to catch up and exchange stories on how life raising twins has been. But the reality of our club is that many families become less involved in the organization as the kids get older and start elementary school. As part of the board of directors for several years, we racked our brains trying to come up with ideas on how to keep these older, more experienced members active, or at least, part of the group. When we asked these parents why they wouldn’t become more involved, it was always the same answer – school…and the fact that there is still only 24 hours in a day, 7 days in a week.
I understand this answer now. My girls are almost 7-years-old and in first grade. Their circle of friends is filled with classmates, Daisy scouts, and soccer buddies. The circle of classmate friends expands with each new grade level and classroom. Enter the moms. Like my old playgroup mom friends, moms of my girls’ classmates have become my new playgroup of sorts. We’ve shared responsibilities in teaching/supervising kids projects, applauded our kids’ class achievements and gotten together to just…chill…savoring the end of the daily morning dropoff rush or finishing a particularly rough week.
This mom bond formed in Kindergarten. I thought this would happen in first grade as well. And I have made a few new mom friends with the new classrooms for my girls. It’s not the same, though. Perhaps it’s because like me, several moms already have a large group of mom friends they created in Kindergarten. I don’t know. I always teach my girls that they could never have too many friends. They, in turn, have been taking to heart the saying, “Make new friends but keep the old. One is silver and the other is gold.”
There’s a special-ness about my Kindergarten mom friends. Perhaps it’s because together we experienced those first-year jitters with our kids. Maybe it’s because we’ve gotten to know each other’s children through classroom projects and activities. And perhaps it’s because half of our brains are always looking toward the future and how our kids might fit into it together as friends or otherwise.
When I became a mom, I once commented how my circle of friends increased with the birth of my children. And it continues to do so. This sense of belonging and becoming more grounded in our neighborhood has grown and I can’t help but believe it began in the classroom.
An original post to It’s Never Easy But It’s Always Fun blog.