Zero Heroes and First Best Friends and Second Best Friends and…

I was having a conversation the other day with my girls. Storyteller was rattling off all the friends she considered her “first best friends.” When she finished, I was wondering about her sister. Why didn’t she mention her sister?

“Oh, she’s a zero hero,” she replied. I was quite curious about the distinction.

“It’s like she’s more than a friend. She’s my sister, so she’s more than that. I only have one friend that’s a zero hero besides Songwriter,” Storyteller explained, “Everyone else is a first best friend or a second best friend or a third best friend or a regular friend.” She looked at me with that patient teaching look in her eyes.

“Oh, I get it,” I said…no I didn’t. When does the “regular friend” actually kick in?

“You know, Mommy,” Songwriter said, “Charlotte pushed me down to regular friend. I used to be her zero hero and then she made me a first best friend and now I’m all the way down at the bottom. A regular friend,” she said with bits of anger and sadness combined.

So, the discussion continued. I explained how friends may change from grade to grade. I explained how she may change each year and that she can have more than one or two friends. I could tell she was still stung by her former zero hero’s change of heart and sorting of her in the circle of friends.  heavy sigh  I knew when this all happened. I saw it happening toward the end of the last school year. And I was glad the summer had come.

But now, the summer is ending and school starts next week. New classrooms, new classmates, new teachers. I’m not as worried this year about Songwriter as I was last year. It seems all the first graders got to know all the other first graders not in their classrooms during recesses and lunch breaks. I’m kinda hoping that Songwriter’s former zero hero is not in her classroom this year so she could start to know other kids. But hey, this is one of those times when I just have to let things happen.

Original post to It’s Never Easy But It’s Always Fun blog.


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